Hanukkah sweaters are so ridiculous that they’re almost funny except… a lot of Jewish people buy them and wear them. The others are just cliché Yiddishisms on knitwear, usually accompanied by illustrations of the most generic and recognizable Jewish symbols like an Orthodox man with peyos (yikes), stars of David, or the most Jewishiest of all… a reindeer with menorah antlers? What the hell? And secondly, notice how these have absolutely nothing to do with Hanukkah whatsoever?! They’re just goyishe holiday phrases with a Jew-ey pun jammed in. So, we’re stuck with a hoard of with slogans like:įirst of all, I am Sephardic so if I’m decking the halls with anything it’s going to be sambousaks. The problem is that these products are made from a complete misunderstanding of who we are as a people and what we are celebrating. And that’s okay! Hanukkah gifts became a thing just so we wouldn’t be jealous of Christian children, and you won’t see me complaining. (Don’t even get me started on the Hanukkah Bush.) Truth is, a lot of our culture and traditions are born out of being the other, some even inspired by the larger cultures we live within. Add a dash of gentile-steered corporate crazy, some good ol’ Jewish overcompensation, and BAM! We’ve got Hanukkah gnomes, Magen David Santa hats, and of course, the ever-dazzling Hanukkah sweater.Īnd listen, Hanukkah sweaters, in theory, are probably the least problematic product of this whole balagan.
It must be a culmination of all things Jew-ey and Jewish-ey, with the oys and the veys and the gimel, dalet, heis. If Christmas is Christians’ most important holiday, then Hanukkah, which falls around the same time, must be ours. But… one thing leads to another, and thinking of Judaism as a kooky Christianity most certainly paved the way for Hanukkah as “Blue Christmas.” They were trying to help Judaism survive, and surely non-Jews not caring enough to understand us played a huge part too. Wrong as they were, they were just reacting to a society which has always been reluctant to accept us. We all agree Judeo-Christian is not a thing at this point, right? We know that Judaism is not just a religion but also an ethnicity, that a rejection of Jewish nationhood is not reflective of the relationship Jews from around the world share, and most obviously, that our belief system is completely different from those of Christianity and Islam. This idea had a lot of influence to say the least, and it still lingers in the way many of my American Jewish brethren see themselves today.īut if you have read any of the scathing infographics from the rightfully angry Jews in your Instagram circles, you know this isn’t true. It was an attempt to modernize Judaism and allow American Jews to assimilate into the fabric of the United States.
Over a century ago, a bunch of American rabbis came together in a conference called The Pittsburgh Platform and long story short, they decided that Jews were no longer a nation, but a religious community like any other–specifically Christians and Muslims. What’s the harm in that? Be proud! That’s not my concern.īut why the hell are we still marketing Judaism as quirky Christianity? In a sea of red and green, you want to loudly represent the blue. “But how will I recognize the token Jewish character in whose Jewishness will never be explicitly shown or mentioned, with the exception of wearing a blue sweater in the Christmas episode!?!”